My
dear friends,
After a long hiatus and many broken
promises, finally here is travelogue number 5. I hope you enjoy it as much as I
enjoy the opportunity to sit back and reflect on my adopted culture, and to share
my scattered reflections with you.
The first thing I want to share with
you is the reaction of the people here to the recent terrible events back in
What I wanted to reflect on today is
Tanzanian hospitality. I say “Tanzanian” rather than
“African” hospitality simply to reinforce the notion that
Anyway, back to the topic of
Tanzanian hospitality. During the long break (June to Sept.)
I had many opportunities to be a guest and to receive guests. It seems as if
everyday life here is really semi-nomadic. People are always on the move,
especially during the long break. In addition to many passing guests there were
also seminar participants, confreres, and even visitor from abroad.
The first thing to note is that
despite the existence of “guest houses” (small hotels) when traveling
everyone seems to stay with someone they know, even if the connection is only a
remote contact. This is especially true of religious men and women. We seem
always to stay at one another’s houses and spend the evening playing the
“Do-you-know-so-and-so Game”.
The second thing to observe is that
almost no one calls ahead to let anyone know they are coming. I think the
reason behind this is partly the unpredictability of travel here. People really
do not know when or if they will arrive at their destination. I do not know if
it is a proper Kiswahili saying, but I often hear people saying what my mother
often says when we part, “We’ll see you when we see you!”
Culturally, what makes it easy to
greet even completely unexpected guests so whole heartedly is the deep
conviction that guests are a blessing. Full stop. I am
slowly learning how deep this conviction is. It is not about reciprocation or
superstition. People are not extending hospitality in order to get or to avoid
something. There seems to be nothing calculating in the hospitality they
extend. In fact, unlike Korean culture where guests should never come
completely empty handed, here gifts seem completely off target. Guests are the
gift!
I am learning this lesson slowly,
the hard way. One day when I was exhausted from running around meeting the
needs of four completely unexpected overnight guests, I said with as much irony
as I could muster, “Guests are a real blessing!” I was astonished
to see the radiant expression on the faces of my Tanzanian friends. Far from
catching the irony in my remark, they were happy that I seemed finally to be
catching on to the first lesson: Guest are a blessing,
especially if you are going out of your way to make them feel at home!
On another level, to have a guest proclaims
to the world that you are a human being. If someone has many guests this is a
great thing. It means your door is always open to anyone (even though in most
traditional Tanzanian houses there is no door!). But just the fact that people
come to greet you is a sign that you are a good person. You are connected and
well-regarded by others. You are a real human being.
I am at once ashamed and proud to
say that before I arrived as superior of this formation community it had never
really entertained even one guest of its own. From what little I have shared so
far, I think you can sense how devastating this fact was for us. It meant we
were somehow not really human beings. Not worth visiting. Many, many people
would come and go, visiting the Institute. But no one ever came to see us, or
to eat with us, or even to greet us. But now things are quite different. Now we
have almost too many guests (an oxymoron in Tanzanian context) from all over
the world. And many of these people have come specifically to se us. Why? Because we are human beings. Needless to say, we do feel
richly blessed!
Visiting the villages I was
surprised to see how guests were treated as regards food. When an important
guest comes a chicken is always offered. But the guests are ushered into a
small room to eat by themselves. The host and all the members of the family
discretely absent themselves while the guests eat their fill. If you arrive
alone, you may well find yourself eating alone. This custom was explained to me
in various ways. But they reduce to the fact that the host wants you as his
guest to eat freely, without worrying if there will be enough for others. In
point of fact, the family may well be sharing with you the last of what they
had to eat for themselves that day. Eating alone, you are spared the pleading
eyes of any hungry children.
The surest way to insult a visitor
is to inquire how long he or she intends to stay! That is the height of
impertinence. So day after day, the host waits for an announcement ...some
indication from a guest that the visit may be coming to an end. And of course
throughout the visitor’s stay, every semblance of normal routine goes out
the window. Hence, you will not be surprised to hear there are growing stresses
and strains as Tanzanians attempt to retain this traditional way of welcoming
visitors in the face of the increasing demands of modern urban life.
Some people even say the biggest
obstacle to economic progress in
As you can see, I am taking careful
lessons in how to treat all of my friends when you pop in here unannounced. I
can promise that we will suspend all our normal operations, and kill the fatted
calf for you (or at least a chicken, or whatever else we can find). For we are certain that if you come as our
guest then you are a blessing and our life will surely increase!
Be assured that after my first full
year in
This year our community numbers
almost 30. There are two priests, two brothers and one Salvatorian sister who
are “associated” with our house, and the rest college-age students
from India, Tanzania, Congo, and this year even one from the U.S. I think that
outside of our general administration community in
I keep each and every one of you in
my thoughts and prayers. And send my love, as ever,
Fr.
Dan