Weekly Lenten Reflections 2005: Week 5

 

Refrain:         Shepherd me, O God, beyond my wants,

(BB 514)      beyond my fears, from death into life.

 

1.       God is my shepherd so nothing shall I want,

          I rest in the meadows of faithfulness and love,

          I walk by the quiet waters of peace.

 

2.       Gently you raise me and heal my weary soul,

          you lead me by pathways of righteousness and truth,

          my spirit shall sing the music of your name.

 

3.       Though I should wander the valley of death

          I fear no evil for you are at my side,

          your rod and your staff, my comfort and my hope.

 

4.       Surely your kindness and mercy follow me,

          all the days of my life;

          I will dwell in the house of my God forever more.

 

THEME: “The evil twin” of the common life: sociability.

 

401. We are called by God to a community of faith, fraternity, and apostolate. Following the example of the first Christians we share with our confreres our faith experience, our friendship and fraternal living, and our apostolic activities.

 

402. Gathered in the name of Christ the Savior we are assured that He is in our midst as the continuing source of our unity, our strength, and our apostolic effectiveness.

                                                  

404. In our community life we respect the individuality of each member. We accept differences, and we recognize the wealth of gifts which enrich our community. We try to overcome our failings and pardon one another, mutually bearing our shortcomings and limitations with patience.

 

405. Mutual understanding and acceptance are essential for the well-being of our community. Hence we enter into dialogue with one another to discover what is good for the individual, for the community, and for our work for the kingdom of God. Prayer and love for one another sustain us in unity through all differing views.

 

411. The better we live a fraternal and apostolic community life, the more it [our community life] becomes a sign of God’s love and a prophetic witness that Christ abides in us and unites us in love. (SDS Const.)


In the first four weeks of our Lenten recollections we concentrated on the “evil twin” and how to identify it in the way we live the evangelical counsels: celibate chastity, poverty, and obedience. In our remaining conferences I want to consider common life and apsotolate. Of course Salvatorians do not actually take vows of community life or apostolate. Nonetheless, like the vows, community life has its evil twin we must be aware of. Why? Because like the vows, there is an inside and an outside to community life. There is what we do and what people see (the outside) and there are our motives for and reactions to living the common life (the inside).

          When discussing common life, most of us immediately think about how well we get along with others. Are we popular, do we fit in, are we accepted and included. All these are good things in themselves. But to insure them we often go a step farther and cultivate the evil twin of  sociability.” If we are not careful we end up packaging ourselves. We select and display the appropriate feelings to the appropriate people at the appropriate times. If we know someone likes this, we do it. If they don’t, we refrain. We talk about what they want to hear; we go along with what they suggest; we even detest whatever they dislike. Anything to get along, and to be accepted.

          Of course common life calls for painful compromises and accommodation. But when sociability becomes our chief  motive and the goal, then we are in trouble. For in religious life, the common life is never an end in itself. We live community life for the sake of something else. As Salvatorians, our goal is apostolate. We live together for the sake of effective and authentic ministry. Especially today, ministry demands deep authenticity. We cannot be fakes and be good priests or religious. And where do we learn to be authentic? In community. There we discover who we really are; how to express and how to control ourselves; how to risk and how to share; how to give and when to hold back; when to confront and correct a confrere, as well has how to accept correction.

          But if in our search for social acceptability we sacrifice everything authentic about ourselves, then we are truly lost. Sure our community accepts us. But who are they really accepting? Me, the real me, or some fake, inauthentic self . . . someone who is always happy, who never complains, who never confronts or corrects a confrere, who never risks showing his true feelings, who never shares with anyone his struggles or doubts, but who always gets along! And to have a whole community filled with such people is to have no real community life at all!

          “Fraternal life!” Despite cultural differences brothers everywhere share certain characteristics. They love one another. Each wants the other to succeed and will do all he can to help. At the same time, they expect and demand much from one another. Between true brothers there is no room for half-truths or hiding. They bear one another’s burdens, but that does not mean they simply excuse every failure or all bad behavior. They are unwilling to let the other bring disgrace into their home or upon their father’s good name. If sometimes this entails straight talk and even confrontation, that’s ok. Because between brothers peace and sociability are never the final goal. Something greater is at stake.  For us religious that is our personal and communal holiness, and our work to build the Kingdom of God.

 

 

By Fr. Dan, SDS